The Joy of Self Care

At this very busy time of year, it is easy to be overwhelmed with our to-do lists and put our own needs after those of others.  Is this wise?  I am reminded of my flight attendant training and the safety demonstrations we gave that said "put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others".  The wisdom of self-care...we know this, yet it is still so hard to put this knowledge into practice.  What if we found a way to re-define our perception of self-care and allowed ourselves to embrace the joy of taking care of ourselves while we look after those we love?

After a very difficult few months, I have struggled with trying to 'do it all' and to 'be all the things'...you know, that mother who is on top of all her child's academic and emotional needs and can schedule driving lessons and appointments with ease; the wife who creates a clean and uncluttered home for her husband to come home to, complete with a meal cooked from scratch; the daughter who supports her grieving family by being available for appointments or just to be together. We all have our own unique variation of this "being all the things"; but where does that leave us?  In my case, it left me exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, and sad. I finally reached my limit yesterday and took a day to stay home, and while I did clean up the house, I also gave myself permission to play in my art journal and have a bath!  Did I feel guilty?  Absolutely! And then, while soaking away the stress and letting the mental chatter of my to-do list flow down the drain, I was struck by a sense of peace, and even joy.  I had put myself first; listened to my body and my needs, and I felt revived and hopeful.  But what does this apparently selfish act mean for everyone around me?  A new and revitalized me, willing to face the season with renewed spirit!  I had been reminded that taking care of myself meant I was better equipped to help those I love: I'd found the *joy* of self-care.

If you are feeling the seasonal stress, why not schedule some time for yourself and see if you too can find the joy in self-care!

  

Trust (aka "The Adventures of a Control Freak")

For so many of us the idea of letting go is terrifying.  That fear of not being in control can be paralyzing.  Managing every possible eventuality and having a plan for things that may never manifest is exhausting, but the alternative feels like chaos, so how could that be better?

Image from "Grace Cards" by Cheryl Richardson

We all hear that we need to trust; trust the Universe or our God; trust the process; and trust and let things unfold as they are meant to.  I have had the chance to learn and practice this through my Art Journaling.  Playing with my journal and layering paper, paint, and ink is a form of active meditation for me and provides a space for me to breathe and just be.  It also provides many lessons on letting go and trusting the process.  Invariably, any plan I may have had for a journal page will evolve into something completely new, and I have learned to accept and even embrace this.  My Art Journaling practice has taught me to trust, and has shown me that letting go doesn't have to be terrifying.

Transferring this letting go into my every day life has been a slow and incremental process.  I have gradually learned to let go of my need to control everything, and to learn to trust again: trust not only the Universe, but to place my trust in others, and most importantly in myself.  Placing trust in others requires a certain amount of vulnerability, something that does not come naturally, and that takes courage.  Trusting oneself can be even more difficult.  We all have an innate wisdom, but learning to listen to and act upon that intuition takes practice and a strong belief in self.  My self-trust is still emerging and is something that I will always need to work with.  What I have learned through all of this is that in letting go of the expectation of a specific desired outcome, beautiful things can happen.  And, contrary to what I once believed, life continues, and the world looks a much brighter place!  Trust.  Just trust.